Tag: future mom

A Letter On Why I will Get My Child A Phone.

A Letter On Why I will Get My Child A Phone.

by savanajayne29 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

If you tell me you need a phone as you go into daycare or preschool. I will get you one. I know what everyone is thinking already. Why? I’ll tell you why.

At 16 we had two bomb threats in a span of a week at my school. The first day my phone had been taken away by my father the night before for not finishing the dishes. The second day I had it charging in the office and wasn’t allowed to get it before being taken into the “secure” location. I was terrified what if I had been killed what if I couldn’t tell my dad good bye. What if I couldn’t say one last I love you?

With the recent increase in shootings and bombings. If my child tells me they need a phone. I will get it. Because of the notes scrawled out in red crayons by little kids telling there parents of how much they love them. Telling them goodbye. In that red crayon. The notes that would probably have dried tears on them. For the little kids who take pens and markers writing the I love you moms. I love you dads. On their bodies in case they could never live to say it again.

So I will buy my baby a phone. No it might not have 5G data or be capable of playing Angry Birds or watching YouTube. But they can call me when they are scared so I can tell them how loved they are and so they know no matter what they can always say the I love you they need.

05/06/2019

05/06/2019

by savanajayne29 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I am 14 weeks pregnant this week.

I have been doing alright besides my normal hyperemesis gravidarum. I have learned I don’t do well with car rides at all. Before being pregnant I would get car sick, but not normally to the point of actually throwing up and it had to be longer car rides 2 hours or more generally. Well it’s a complete turn around now that I’m pregnant. I sometimes can’t even do 10 minute car rides without being sick. Which isn’t fun considering most of my family lives 20-40 minutes away. If I want any good restaurants, stores, or things to do on weekends I also have an hour trip. J refuse to be home bound though so I’ve just been bringing bags incase of sickness and try my hardest to breath through it. Also with that after I finish throwing up I seem to get migraines when we start driving again which makes every drive a million times worse.

I have been craving chips and cheese from a local fast food Mexican place near me. It’s basically homade chips with melted sprinkle cheese on them and I add sour cream. I also have been craving waffles a lot recently so my very loving fiance got me the waffle maker I’ve been wanting. And surprised me one morning before getting the waffle maker with Eggos after he got off work. (He works 3rd shift.)

Baby Bean has started showing more and more on me. I felt them kick the other morning and it amazes me every time. That there is an actual living being in my stomach. My living being. My bean. If you watch my stomach you can also see them moving around sometimes like from one side to the other. I’m slightly nervous for next week because I have two appointments one of which is a ultrasound to see if Bean has any genetic problems if I’m understanding right. It’s to check to basically see if they are developing alright and it can pick up on things such as down syndrome.

I’m more nervous just because I just want them to be okay. Ever since my first miscarriage I’m so nervous of losing this one and if there’s certain genetic factors I’m afraid they will tell me they aren’t going to make it. Every other ultrasound I’ve had they have seemed healthy according to the doctor and it’s just precautionary because of my weight (I’ve always been underweight. No matter how much I eat.) and because of the genetic factors in Lukas’s family. It just makes me very nervous. I go next Wednesday for that and then that Friday will be Bean’s 16 week appointment.

I am beyond excited for that one because I get to hear their little heart beat again. Which makes me want to cry every time I think of it. It was the best thing I had ever heard. It made me so happy. Happier than I knew I ever could be and I just want to hear it for as long as I can.

I have 5 weeks and around 5 days until Bean will be 20 weeks and I get to find out if they are a boy or a girl. Bean’s due date is October 29th so I have exactly 177 days from today or 5 Months and 24 days. If everything goes to plan that is. When I first found out I was pregnant everyone thought I’d be due in November so I was looking forward to getting to dress up for Halloween one of my favorite holidays. I was going to get my bump painted. If Bean comes early or on time that will not be the case unfortunately, but to be honest I’m so excited to meet that little one I wouldn’t care when they came as long as they are healthy.

A Letter to Future Me.

A Letter to Future Me.

by savanajayne29 ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

You must be struggling, your life has been turned upside down only a short few months ago this was you. Typing this letter preparing for the future trying to guess what you’d need to hear. Now you have that baby we waited for so long. The one we wished for and if what they say is true it is nothing like we imagined.

Now we have this little perfect thing that needs someone to care for it. We drove ourselves insane trying to prepare ourselves with every article and blog we could find. None of it prepared us for this. At least that’s what I’m guessing.

Don’t worry though momma, you got this no matter what our mind tells us. We got this. Take a deep breath, cry if you need to, take another deep breath. Now pick that little baby up rock them even when others tell you they need to learn self soothing that’s not us. We understand that the need to be held, to be rocked, to be loved. Yes it might lead to sleepless nights for us. We understood that from the beginning. Yes it gets stressful, yes we would love to be sleeping, but how could we sleep when the little one we love so much is crying in the next room. That self soothing is bullshit, we’ve said that from the beginning. I wonder if we’re still saying that now. I’m guessing we are knowing how stubborn we are, we’re definitely saying that. We’re gonna be okay momma, we’ve made it through a lot. We can make it through sleepless nights just so our little one is comfortable.

The laundry may be pilling up and the dishes and it’s getting overwhelming I know it is. Take another deep breath, maybe two, your okay. You can get it done. One step at a time, three dishes at a time, a load at a time. You can do it. No one blames you, you’re adjusting. You can get it done. You’ve got this momma.

That baby doesn’t care about the piles of laundry and the dishes. They care about you. They love you momma. You got this momma. We got this momma.