A Letter On Why I will Get My Child A Phone.

A Letter On Why I will Get My Child A Phone.

If you tell me you need a phone as you go into daycare or preschool. I will get you one. I know what everyone is thinking already. Why? I’ll tell you why.

At 16 we had two bomb threats in a span of a week at my school. The first day my phone had been taken away by my father the night before for not finishing the dishes. The second day I had it charging in the office and wasn’t allowed to get it before being taken into the “secure” location. I was terrified what if I had been killed what if I couldn’t tell my dad good bye. What if I couldn’t say one last I love you?

With the recent increase in shootings and bombings. If my child tells me they need a phone. I will get it. Because of the notes scrawled out in red crayons by little kids telling there parents of how much they love them. Telling them goodbye. In that red crayon. The notes that would probably have dried tears on them. For the little kids who take pens and markers writing the I love you moms. I love you dads. On their bodies in case they could never live to say it again.

So I will buy my baby a phone. No it might not have 5G data or be capable of playing Angry Birds or watching YouTube. But they can call me when they are scared so I can tell them how loved they are and so they know no matter what they can always say the I love you they need.

Get To Know Me Question

Get To Know Me Question

What is your favorite color? Any Pastels or if it’s some color I’m wearing I like navy blue or army green.

When you were younger what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a lot of things. I wanted to be a chef like Emeirl Lagasse, Bobby Flay, and Rachel Ray. I also wanted to be an artist. I went through a short phase where I wanted to be a travel agent, I would pretend to book trips for my dad on his old computer with a old phone and giant desk calendar.

What is your favorite place you have traveled too? It’s a tie between three places. The First would be Disney Land in California, mainly because I love theme parks and Disney, but also the food was amazing and it was one of the longest plane trips I remember, and I love riding on planes. The second place would be Dallas Texas, My great aunt lived there and worked for American Airlines so when I was younger she would fly us out a lot. I remember loving the plane rides and all the cool restaurants where she would spoil the hell out of me. The memory that comes to mind the clearest of these I was around 6 and my mom and I took a really late flight out so we got there at like 5 A.M. My aunt picked us up at the airport and we went to IHOP I had like two plates of kids french toast and I ordered another and asked for lots of extra powdered sugar. My mom said no, but my aunt Rosalie said “Let that baby have what she wants.” There always seemed to be something to do in Dallas no matter what day it was there was giant libraries, malls, and restaurants. The third place would have to be North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It has so many amazing restaurants, stores, and attractions. Even if you don’t go to any of those though the best part is the beach. I love just to lay out listening to the waves and bathing in the sun. Going out early for walks on the beach and collecting shells watching the sun come up. It’s just a overall beautiful and relaxing experience.

If you could get on a plane tomorrow and go anywhere, where would you go? Disney World, If it was expenses paid at least. I’ve been craving mickey waffles and pizza ever since I got pregnant.

Are you closer to your Mom or Dad? Why? I’m closer to my Dad. Unfortunately my mother has always seemed to put something above me (drugs, alcohol, men, etc.) (We are working on it) My father has always been there for me, he spoiled me to the best of his ability. We we’re lower middle class, but I always had what I needed. We always had food, my medical bills were payed, I had a house that I never had to worry about moving from, I could talk to him when I needed too, still to this day he helps me anytime I need it. I can call him crying my eyes out and he always knows what I need to hear, but also gives me the reality check I need. He is my best friend and the person I can always trust to be there for me no matter what.

How many children do you want and why? I want 5 I just want them to have the big family I always wanted. Lukas has agreed to 3, but we’re working on it. I just want them to have siblings so they can always have someone to play with or talk to if we’re not around. They can watch out for each other at places we can’t always be at.

What’s your favorite meal? It’s another tie this time a five way one though because i’m indecisive. The first being my Meme’s (my grandma) Tuna Casserole with peas on the side and monkey bread for dessert. My mom’s homemade french fries which isn’t really a meal so her potato soup recipe is pretty great too. My momma’s (my adopted mother) chicken pot pie is to die for and I always request it no matter what day it is or how long I’m stopping by for. My dad makes amazing smoked turkey breast with grilled corn and cheesy mashed potatoes. My fiance makes the best smoked pork chop I have ever had and he’s been getting better at making mac and cheese (the first time I asked him to make boxed mac and cheese he tried to use a hand held mixer to mix the cheese in), but I like mashed potatoes and salad with it best.

What’s your go to TV-Show? I have a lot just depending on my mood. One Tree Hill and Brothers and Sisters are great for when I’m needing advice or needing to be able to cry (in a good way…mostly),Parks and Rec or Brooklyn Nine-Nine are good when I need a laugh, and if I’m just bored I watch Triple D or any animal rescue type show.

What is your dream career? A dietitian at a zoo for the animals. I love working with both animals and food so I would love to work and do this. Unfortunately most zoos don’t higher this position full time and if they do they want you to have a PhD. It’s just a dream though I’ll just continue visiting the zoos it might be cheaper in the long run.

If you had to get another tattoo what would it be and why? I want one of a bean that’s rainbow colored. Representing baby bean being our rainbow baby. I have one of a little alien head tattoo already if you were wondering. (Luke’s niece loves to tell me how colorful it makes my arm look. (it’s green) and that I should take her to get her arm colorful too.)

Wishes for my baby

Wishes for my baby

I hope that you are happy and healthy.

I hope that you aren’t afraid of anyone.

I hope you love everyone.

I hope you get your fathers ability to make friends with anyone.

I hope you laugh anytime you feel like it without fear of others opinions.

I hope you never forget how much I love you.

I hope you ignore negativity.

I hope you become secure in yourself.

I hope you respect anyone who respects you.

I hope you grow in whatever way you want that makes you happy.



I am 14 weeks pregnant this week.

I have been doing alright besides my normal hyperemesis gravidarum. I have learned I don’t do well with car rides at all. Before being pregnant I would get car sick, but not normally to the point of actually throwing up and it had to be longer car rides 2 hours or more generally. Well it’s a complete turn around now that I’m pregnant. I sometimes can’t even do 10 minute car rides without being sick. Which isn’t fun considering most of my family lives 20-40 minutes away. If I want any good restaurants, stores, or things to do on weekends I also have an hour trip. J refuse to be home bound though so I’ve just been bringing bags incase of sickness and try my hardest to breath through it. Also with that after I finish throwing up I seem to get migraines when we start driving again which makes every drive a million times worse.

I have been craving chips and cheese from a local fast food Mexican place near me. It’s basically homade chips with melted sprinkle cheese on them and I add sour cream. I also have been craving waffles a lot recently so my very loving fiance got me the waffle maker I’ve been wanting. And surprised me one morning before getting the waffle maker with Eggos after he got off work. (He works 3rd shift.)

Baby Bean has started showing more and more on me. I felt them kick the other morning and it amazes me every time. That there is an actual living being in my stomach. My living being. My bean. If you watch my stomach you can also see them moving around sometimes like from one side to the other. I’m slightly nervous for next week because I have two appointments one of which is a ultrasound to see if Bean has any genetic problems if I’m understanding right. It’s to check to basically see if they are developing alright and it can pick up on things such as down syndrome.

I’m more nervous just because I just want them to be okay. Ever since my first miscarriage I’m so nervous of losing this one and if there’s certain genetic factors I’m afraid they will tell me they aren’t going to make it. Every other ultrasound I’ve had they have seemed healthy according to the doctor and it’s just precautionary because of my weight (I’ve always been underweight. No matter how much I eat.) and because of the genetic factors in Lukas’s family. It just makes me very nervous. I go next Wednesday for that and then that Friday will be Bean’s 16 week appointment.

I am beyond excited for that one because I get to hear their little heart beat again. Which makes me want to cry every time I think of it. It was the best thing I had ever heard. It made me so happy. Happier than I knew I ever could be and I just want to hear it for as long as I can.

I have 5 weeks and around 5 days until Bean will be 20 weeks and I get to find out if they are a boy or a girl. Bean’s due date is October 29th so I have exactly 177 days from today or 5 Months and 24 days. If everything goes to plan that is. When I first found out I was pregnant everyone thought I’d be due in November so I was looking forward to getting to dress up for Halloween one of my favorite holidays. I was going to get my bump painted. If Bean comes early or on time that will not be the case unfortunately, but to be honest I’m so excited to meet that little one I wouldn’t care when they came as long as they are healthy.

10 Lists To Help Calm Your Mind

10 Lists To Help Calm Your Mind

  • A list of every good thing that has happened to you that week.
  • A list of inspiring quotes.
  • A list of your favorite songs that make you happy.
  • Your happiest memories.
  • Your bucket list.
  • List the things that are causing you stress (if you give a name to it. It may help you feel better.)
  • A list of people you love to be around.
  • A list of your life’s accomplishments (no matter how small, that spelling bee win in 3rd grade counts!)
  • A list of your dream vacation spots (Why them? Do you want anyone to come with you? If so who?)
  • A list of your favorite qualities of your favorite person.

For the month of May. I’m going to be doing lists for Self Care Sundays. All of them are probably going to have 10 in the lists. I hope you all have a great day and what’s some lists you like to make or what would you include in these lists if you wrote them let me know in the comments.

A just in case letter to my bean

A just in case letter to my bean

I love you so much and I’ve only known you for such a short amount of time, but it feels like an eternity. You are all I care about all I love, but if I’m not there in the future when you need me I have a few things that might help.

If you’re needing advice watch one tree hill or brothers and sisters.

If you’re needing to feel better watch parks and rec besides the very last episode which I still have yet to watch.

If you’re sick your dad makes the best grilled cheese (don’t tell him I told you that)

If you’re upset animals help everything. And I’m sure your dad would agree to one if you asked. He’s more of a crazy cat guy than I am.

Speaking of your dad be easy on him. He is the best man I know and he loves you dearly. He’s just very sensitive even if he doesn’t show you. He cares for you more than you will ever know. And he always will listen to you when you need it even when he seems like he’s not. He can always repeat everything you have said to him.

You are amazing and I love you no matter who you are. I accept you. As long as you are kind to others and animals. That doesn’t mean always being kind though. My little Bean not everyone in this world is nice. It’s a cruel world. That doesn’t mean you should be cruel too.

Be kind to your friends and stick up for them. There’s gonna be a lot of “weird” kids and people out there. That doesn’t mean to be mean to them or stand by while others are mean to them too. Stand up for the weird people and the outcasts even if it means standing up to your own friends and family. It may make you better friends in the end. Stand up for what is right in this world, yell it from the roof tops, march to city halls and the white house, make signs, and write things about what is right and what is wrong and know that there is a middle and yes people can have other opinions.

Hear them out listen to their opinions and why they have them. Get every side of the story then make your own decisions. Choose what you believe is right and even though it might not agree with my beliefs or your dads. Just be educated in the belief and don’t give some half answer if questioned on why you believe what you do. Be able to say what it is you believe in detail and explain with every detail why you believe it and why you believe it is right.

Remember these questions though before you agree to believe in something. Answer them all on your own, but I am sure you know what the answers should be.

  • Is this belief taking away a right from any person?
  • Does this belief hurt someone else?
  • Is their any facts to the reasons behind this belief? ( I.E. Vaccinations don’t cause autism)
  • Is your belief prejudiced against a specific individual or group of people?