I am 13 weeks Pregnant this week.

I started having Braxton Hicks this week and if you haven’t had them they are like this really tight feeling in your stomach kind of like pulling a muscle that takes your breath away. It lasts a few seconds, but it was terrifying the first time it happened. I had no idea what it was. I have gotten so much hungrier which doesn’t work well considering that I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (it’s just severe nausea and vomiting during pregnancy) so I don’t keep food down very well. My back pain has increased because of my slow growing stomach and fast growing breasts.

I haven’t felt Bean move much recently. I did feel them kick last week which was freaky, but also made me cry a lot. It made it more real that I have this little human growing in my stomach. I saw them on the ultra sound last week and they looked like an actual baby now. They had little fingers and toes and they were sucking their thumb. They had their legs crisscrossed and pulled up close to their chest just like I used to sit when I was younger. I also heard their heart beat for the first time and I don’t think any sound has ever made me happier I was a crying mess. They had a heart beat of 145 this time. And god was it amazing just hearing that. My baby was alive and well. They had a little heart that beats. They didn’t move much this appointment just seemed content sucking their thumb in a position that to most people besides me seems uncomfortable.

Bean is due on October 29th which is exactly 7 months after my 19th birthday and exactly 6 months and 3 days from today. We are having a gender reveal party when I hit 20 weeks which seems like forever away so we don’t have a conclusive name yet, but have around two names for each gender. It all feels so far away yet, I feel like I have no time at all. I can’t wait until I get to meet my little Bean. Even if it means sleepless nights and craziness that is sure to some with this. I know I can never be ready, but I am excited.